Card for the Week: Temperance

The card for Big Life Society this week is Temperance. We live in a world where speed and excess and huge leaps are seen as sexy and brave and daring, and let’s be real, sometimes they are. But sometimes the most beautiful energy to embody is Temperance. Why? Because it is full of purpose and presence. It is not a get rich quick scheme or pinnacle chasing energy. It is an energy that says, set the timer and show up for your work until it goes off, then set it again and show up for your play. It is the energy that sits on the porch and watches the storms roll in and feels the thick air and smells the building clouds. It is deep presence in the moment. It is one step at a time energy and having the wisdom to know that’s how things actually work.

The Temperance Card in Tarot

I’m writing this laying in bed—where I do most of my writing because it feels nice, with my cat Fio next to me. On the TV I have some quiet meditation music playing and the low white noise of the dryer that sounds and feels like a tidy house. I just had some toast I made out of homemade bread, topped with a bit of cream whipped with the smallest sprinkle of coconut sugar, vanilla and salt so it tasted toasty, creamy and caramel-y. We had a “cool” front yesterday so It’s not super blazing hot like usual and I can go on a long walk later. I have a printed-out plan laying next to me that has the tasks for Big Life Society and other projects I’m working on for each day of this week, so I know what to expect before I start. Basically, it is quite pleasant as I write this. This is the beauty of temperance.

Originally, the temperance card in tarot was about religious-style goodness and was considered one of the core virtues. When I think about temperance the way I might have from my fundamentalist past, it feels like a jail, like not getting to have the full human experience, but just the quiet, reverent, self-obliterative religious practices that keep me from my full power and humanness. I will never live temperance in a disempowered way again.

My favorite ritual of the day is my morning coffee

When I think about it from my healing journey, the thing I wanted the most when I was in my past and thought about getting free was peace and rest: a little house, with a little job I can enjoy, a little circle of deep friendships and community, a little desk to write my novels, a stack of handmade pot holders in the kitchen to cook my good food from the little garden out back and a little cat to share my life. It was so modest and moderate, but it seemed the most far-flung fairytale I could ever imagine happening. I do have that now, but I live in a big city apartment instead and honestly, I like that better. My life is bigger than some of those little things, but to do my big life, it is daily showing up for temperance work.

When I think about temperance now, I think of a sort of delicious decadence, which I know seems counter-intuitive to moderate, patient temperance. Now it feels like a delicious routine and natural rhythms that I get to create for myself and my life. That has been my favorite thing about Big Life Society so far, creating planner/binder pages for myself and you to create your own rhythms and ritual to create purpose and meaning and a natural flow to our lives. It’s not about doing the pages and then making a million dollars and being the most successful woman in the world. It’s about doing the pages and feeling into and enjoying the beauty and pleasures of this daily life in a way that is perfectly aligned to you. That is temperance as pure pleasure.

My list of ways that temperance gives me pleasure in my daily life:

-I get to work with my natural rhythms.

-I don’t have to climb an entire mountain every day, just tend to the tasks of the day and that’s all.

-I get to take breaks and breathe, and I also get to have focused time where I am productive without burnout.

-I can tend to many of the areas of my life that are important to me without over focusing on one or two.

-Purposely having a temperate ritualed routine helps me with my neurodivergence and feels deeply supportive.

What ways I use temperance to create a rich daily life:

-Starting the day with my coffee, my writing, then my Good Day planner pages, to make sure I begin with priorities and purpose and pleasure.

-My Container Planner Pages: I have all the major areas that need to be tended to in my daily life--my rituals, my body, my pleasure, my connection with others, my home, my writing and my business in “containers” in my planner so I remember to tend to each one daily to have a balanced life.

-Taking long walks. It helps me show up for my body and my pleasure in a way that isn’t pushing myself or ignoring myself, but in a way that is my own rhythm and feels good.

I made a teeny tiny zen garden on my porch so I can sit and enjoy quiet moments. I can also change it up any time I want to keep it interesting.

There are many, many more ways temperance shows up in my life. I have ADHD so temperance isn’t always feasible and I do tend to do well with deep dives and the ebbs and flows of tidal energy rather than one steady wave. That’s fine, too. I make sure that temperance works with my ADHD by adding pleasure to my routines and rituals so they are easier to stick to, and also flexible so I don’t have to be rigid about it and I can always add in creativity and fun. Let’s see how temperance can help you in your life.

Ask yourself these questions:

-What is the first thing I think of when I think of temperance? Is that association positive or negative or neutral?

-What ways am I not being temperate but think it might benefit me to be more temperate? Would that be an easy fix like making a plan or schedule, or would it require deeper work like addressing an addiction? Have compassion for yourself no matter the answer. This isn’t about shame or judgement. This is about self-observation.

-What are three simple ways temperance can be gently added into your life to increase your pleasure and enjoyment of your life without an overhaul or giant disruption? Can you start today?

-If you have negative ideas about temperance, can you validate your experiences and see why you think negatively about it, and how you might begin a new relationship with temperance in a way that is about your pleasure and personal power? Can you start today?

Taking walks in Houston. I love the beautiful live oak trees

Maybe it is just a few little tweaks like a pleasurable deep breath on your porch in the morning, or a weekly phone call to a loved one who you don’t keep up with much but would like to. Maybe it is working on your own planner pages to build a supportive system. I have some printables in my shop to help with that and I will be adding more over the next few weeks.

With the changing of the seasons, it is a wonderful time to breathe new life into your routines and ritual and to feel back into the rhythms of your own life with purpose, pleasure and patience that temperance brings.