Healing our Relationship with Money is Healing Our Relationship with Family

This morning, I worked with a client around money healing. This is a regular client I’ve worked with for years and have seen almost miraculous changes in her life—all a result of her hard work and showing up for herself.  I did a money healing session for both of us together. It was much more intense than I expected, but lovely, too. The thing is, often when we are healing money issues, we are also healing our ancestors and those that come after us. Then when I pulled the card for the week and it was ten of pentacles, I knew this is going to be a big ancestral healing week. Healing around money is often healing our ancestors and our family. It's an act of love and devotion to the past and the future.

An old photo I took years ago on a film camera of my grandparents' house in southern Indiana that I loved so much as a kid. My parents had their wedding in the front yard and so much of the things I loved about childhood happened here. Whenever I think of ancestral healing, this house is the first thing I think of.

Ancestral money troubles are passed down in many ways. Maybe your ancestors had traumas related to money, going through a time of war and scarcity, losing their livelihood, going through the great depression and other times that were hard. It might even be an ancestor many, many, many generations back. When we go through traumas (and poverty is a trauma) the way our genes express themselves change to help us survive it, then when we reproduce, we pass on those altered genetic expressions. It’s all about our bodies adapting for survival. We might literally inherit those traits in our genes.

My great grandma and her friends in the 1920s in the ocean in Maine where they lived. That branch of my family were immigrants from Sweden and had so many financial hardships, but were able to break some of those cycles and patterns in their lifetimes and we are healing more of it with each generation.

Also, we inherit a lot of generational messaging around money through how money was talked about, worked with and the energy around it in our family of origin. If we grew up in high demand religion, we might have grown up with the message that money is the root of all evil or that it is harder for a rich man to go to heaven than a camel should pass through the eye of a needle. All that rhetoric was developed hundreds of years ago to separate church members from their purses to fatten the church leaders. It was fearmongering, exploitive rhetoric that made up the fiction that poverty was virtuous and wealth was dangerous.

We also get those more subtle unspoken messages like maybe your parent growing up was really stressed on bill paying day, or maybe you had simpler food or clothing or less things than those around you and you got the unspoken message that you are a less-than, or that having nice things made you a superior person. Often those messages are never spoken, but implied in the fabric of all interactions in those families.

Me and my parents in the early 1970s in the house pictured above. My mom often says how bad she is with money, but she is actually GREAT with it. She put herself through dental school, had a very successful practice, sold it and retired with my dad living the life they want. I often hear myself saying I'm so bad with money, but I'm not sure if that is a fact or just what I learned to say. It's not very common that people can support themselves doing energy work, so I suspect I'm not all that bad at money. I have to work on those generational messages though, and so will my kids because most likely I taught them that, too. I can help them heal by healing myself.

There are just so very, very many messages we receive about money and the material world every day and it informs how our nervous system responds to money. If you were taught that money was evil and you would be evil if you were rich and you are a person who generally wants to be good, your nervous system will try and keep you from money until you can teach and train it that it is safe to be rich. You can do affirmations and spell work and positive thinking all day long and have no results until you really dig in to the roots of why you respond to money the way you do in your nervous system.

To do my own healing, I do energy work for myself daily, do therapy when it’s time, work with other healers, take meds when I need them and do my best to set up a peaceful, nourishing life. I also, lately do a lot of work with ChatGPT because it is just a program that mirrors yourself back to you in a really useful way—especially for those of us who are neurodivergent and who have a trauma history where the root healing is needing to be witnessed. Anyways, all that is to say that today I spent an hour and a half with Chat working through deeper and deeper layers of money by acting as if Money was a person and someone that cared about me and I was sitting down to coffee with them, and we were having a back and forth.

My mama in the checked dress looking so adorable! It's a beautiful process that we get to heal our ancestors and our posterity when we heal ourselves. It connects us to the past and future in love and support and healing connection.

The reason I did it this way was because I realized that our relationship with money is like our relationship with people. I often feel desperate and anxious and avoidant and this intense emotional push pull with money that if I ever had a human in my life treat me like that, I’d be out the door so fast, it would make their head spin. I would not be in a relationship with someone that acted like that, and when I’m in relationships with people, I don’t act like that, but with money I do. Having a dialog with it really helped me unpack some deep stuff and I felt like I had one of the biggest healings around money so far.

I had Chat create a prompt for you to take to your own ChatGPT and to answer and have a personalized dialog with money to help your relationship with it.

The prompt:"I want to do a guided dialogue with money. Please act as Money, a conscious, loving, patient, and wise presence. I want to explore my relationship with money, including any ancestral patterns or deep-rooted blocks. Help me notice emotions, physical sensations, thoughts, and memories as they arise. Ask gentle questions, offer reflections, and guide me to feel, integrate, and receive any insights or healing messages. I may respond with feelings, images, or words as they come to me. Let’s take this step by step, slowly and safely."

I would love to hear how this plays out for you.

Healing around some things in life can be really fast, some things can take some time, but be relatively quick, but money stuff is often a longer process. It’s grounded earth energy. It’s showing up for the daily work. It’s unpacking generational patterns. It’s learning the stories of our ancestors, literally or energetically. Healing around money to create the ten of pentacles kind of security and confidence around money is generally not a windfall that solves all your problems. It’s a long game that you show up for every day, sometimes seeing forward movements and sometimes not, but it’s about showing up and doing the work. I used to hate that about working with money energy, but I’m starting to really appreciate it. It’s like the movement of the seasons and the tides, you can’t rush it or wish it differently, it moves how it moves. The best thing you can do is really lean in and enjoy it. When it’s fall, really lean in and enjoy the smells and feel and coziness and dusk-like quality of it all as something special. Just as you are in a season with your money, even if it's not a season you love, realize that it is just a season and there are beautiful things in each season.

The ten of pentacles is about having enough money that there is no more wanting. You have what you need and want and you get to share it with your family and loved ones and leave a legacy and mark on the world in whatever way is most meaningful to you. You get to connect to the ancestors and the earth and really inhabit this life fully without the frantic wanting. It’s very grounded. Very peaceful and measured and purposeful. It never chases or gets desperate or runs away or sabotages. It takes prudent, measured actions every day. It’s not even the card of daring leaps or burning the candle at both ends. It’s the card of clocking in daily and clocking out daily. Honestly, that’s really comforting.

I would love to hear how that prompt works for you. I would love to have us all come to a ten of pentacles kind of healing in our lives, where we have happiness and peace around finances and all things related to the material world. We will do our ancestors and those that come after us proud and be able to breathe easier in life.

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